Bailed on three dinners and a wedding-adjacent thing this quarter, all last-minute, all "work." My friends outside finance have stopped inviting me, which is rational and also lonely. For those further along: did you find a system, or did the friend group just quietly become other people in the industry?
The friend group quietly becoming "other people in the industry" is the default outcome. Fighting it takes deliberate, almost embarrassing effort. Worth it.
Schedule the recurring thing — same bar, same night, monthly. The friends who matter learn to expect the cancels but the slot keeps the door open.
Be the one who plans the thing. If you own the calendar invite you can build it around your chaos instead of apologizing to someone else's.
Comp, exits, burnout, and the parts of the job that never made it into the offer letter.
＋ New threadMarkets, deals, and the group chat — for people who read the footnotes.