Seed Rounds: Fewer, Fatter, and Somehow More Insufferable
Median seed checks hit an all-time high while deal count cratered. If you don't have an ex-OpenAI cofounder on the team, it's looking kinda ngmi out there. 🍜
The seed market has fully barbelled: median check sizes are at record highs while the actual number of deals fell off a cliff. Fewer companies are raising, but the ones that do are raising like it's a Series B with extra steps.
The unlock, predictably, is pedigree. Ex-FAANG, ex-OpenAI, dropped-out-of-the-right-PhD — capital is flooding to the same 200 founders while everyone else gets ghosted after the second meeting.
Great if you're anointed, brutal if you're a normal human with a normal idea and a normal LinkedIn. The vibes-based economy marches on.
a16z Casually Vacuums Up Another $7.2B Because Why Not
While the rest of VC is eating instant ramen, the Marc & Ben show scooped $7.2B in fresh dry powder. LPs said 'take my money,' every other GP left on read. 💸
Stripe Now Worth $91B, Still Refuses to IPO Out of Spite
A tender offer bumps the Collison bros to $91B. Late-stage is thawing for the chad names while everyone else quietly marks themselves down in the group chat. 🧊
Another AI Chip Startup Bags $300M, Sovereign Money Goes Brrr
A sovereign fund led a $300M Series C at a $4.5B tag because slapping 'AI inference' on a deck still prints. Compute demand > supply > common sense. 🤖